Another Reason I Resent Birds

Birds are creepy with their eyes all beady and gross with their crapping on me and my car.
But tonight’s new reason for resenting them – they get down. Not like get down, get down, HUH!, but like down comforters-down.
Light and warm.
As a human, to keep warm, I get this body fat. The fat is not [...]

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The SBD* Brain Fart

I could not remember who the 2000 U.S. Presidential election involved. I remembered Bush, of course Dubya. But who was the Democratic candidate? How old was I? What classes was I in? I should remember this, think, think! I couldn’t get past Kerry – I knew it wasn’t B. Clinton. Who was he endorsing? Who [...]

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AT&T Service Outage

Or “The First Time I Tried Turning To Twitter (But Not Its Use)”
Friend and I stopped to help a person who flipped off her bike go to the hospital E.R.
Her phone only had one bar of battery left. I told her she could use mine. But she couldn’t because AT&T was/is having some bizarre crapfest [...]

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Things I’d Rather Do Than Be Loved By You (The Law School Song)

Another silly “song”. A friend says a thing, I make a series of rhymes.
Things I’d Rather Do Than Be Loved By You
Dear Law School. It started out cool.
I made tons of changes for you and your love.
Law School, I learned to talk just like a tool.
Took the pressure and hung with tons of gunners.

But Law [...]

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Chat Transcript Excerpts

10:21:12 PM Joyce: WALLZ
10:21:47 PM Aaron: ballz^(walls)
10:21:52 PM Joyce: !
 
10:27:00 PM Mana: i took a test at school
10:27:10 PM Mana: and noticed there was a bunch of old people wandering around
10:27:13 PM Mana: (i know, i sound terrible)
10:27:17 PM Mana: so i followed them
10:27:21 PM Mana: and voila! voting booths!

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Conversation(s) with Other Aarons

Would never be quite the same as Aaron Eckhart. I’m not done watching the movie yet, but struck by three supersalient things:
1) Nora Zehetner really looks like a younger version of Helna Bonham Carter.
2) She and Aaron Eckhart are super hot an good at their jobs.
3) The split screen is not nearly as distracting after [...]

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Plumber Is The New Farmer

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Don’t Lie to ME, Jailbait

I enjoy making silly rhymes. If I had my druthers, I’d essentially be the Flight of the Conchords or similar for a living and a happy. This is also part of why I go through my days making up verses for the ‘Boom De Yada’ song.
________________________
Don’t Lie to ME, Jailbait

Jesse McCartney, you were fourteen
A bit [...]

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A Follow Up To Julie of the Wolves

So in the Julie of the Wolves post, Sarah Palin gunned down Amaroq and the entire pack that had been acting as 13-year-old Julie’s family and then wheeling off into the sky.
Here is an accounting of Real Life Sarah Palin’s stance on Native American rights as told by her time as governor of Alaska.

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The internet has your good ideas

Colin Drane, also a UVA alum who moved to Baltimore, created a google maps/crime report overlay doohickey for Charlottesville. Honestly, Charlottesville’s so small, it’s only technically a city, so it would take someone who’d been here to care. In sum, HURRAH.
It’s also strange how landlords will tell me to drive by places to see if [...]

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Self-Medication: An Oldie that Extracts Your Laughs

How It Came Up (edited for readability):
7:35:34 PM Joyce: 
“jason: babies are creepy
jason: they’re all small, and can get anywhere
Joyce: they can’t get anywhere
Joyce: i know
Joyce: they will not get in my belly.
Joyce: and my belly, it is a where
jason: comments like that may not make jocy want you to be an aunt”
7:35:44 PM Joyce: =(
7:37:26 [...]

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Self-Medication: October 7th ed.

YouTube – Discovery Channel: I Love the World

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Anti-Yogurt

I am about to go grocery-shopping and was considering buying some yogurt. I don’t normally eat too much yogurt, but occasionally, it’s a nice substitute for ice cream when what I really want is smooth texture.
Then, this Yoplait commercial came on with Richard Simmons and … honestly, my stomach did a little curdle and I’m not [...]

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Amaroq v. Palin

I’ve never read Julie of the Wolves, but I came across a synopsis of it and thought of Sarah Palin in a helicopter, raking this wolf pack with shot. And then I pictured Julie crying as the helicopter wheeled away, leaving her with the dead bodies of the wolves who she had been living with [...]

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Thing I wish I could say without being a giant liar

“Dear World (particularly America),
I refuse to feel perpetually uncomfortable with who I am.”

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