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Archive for August, 2008

“There’s something about that, that made me laugh my ass off. My ass has literally separated from my body….Medic!”

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Fluorescent Calf

I was reading through a pharmaceutical patent at work and a few pages in were the graphs of testing results. Each stage of testing was marked by an image of the animal that showed the result. Way to label your data!

Ignoring the quagmire of animal testing itself, I was very excited to see he little cow doodle because I love cows. I immediately applied myself to the task of coloring in the cows with my highlighter – forget highlighting language in the claims of the patent!

Half way through highlighting the first cow I gasped –

Was I creating a golden calf?

While thinking, the highlighter kept going. To balance it out, I seized the pink highlighter and filled in the dogs ASAP so that it would be another coloring project, leaving only afew seconds during which it was a series of golden calves.

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The slight bit of accent of Mr. Hugh McCutcheon, U.S. Men’s Olympic Volleyball team coach, was recognizable to me off the bat due to excessive watching of Eagle vs Shark the night previous. New Zealand! Knew it!

I hope his Wiz (wife) and mother-in-law are recovering.

He looks like Wallace of Wallace and Gromit.

I think my new project is trying to imitate the NZ accent. I will never get it right, I’m sure, but it could be a fun project since I’ve tired of the Rubik’s cube and such.

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I am upset that ABC 2 Baltimore is showing coverage of the state fair. The Maryland state fair – is this a state that needs its fair covered? Do any of them?

I am upset b/c I wanted to watch the Ugly Betty episode slated for tonight. I am back from happy hour – I am ready! It is not there. TvGuide.com says it’s there. ABC 2’s own site says it’s there.

I spent two minutes searching the ABC 2 site for things such as
• “where the fuc [sic] is ugly betty”
• “why are you showing the ‘state’ fair instead of ugly betty”
• “why say you are showing ugly betty when i see a corn dog”
• “you suck give me ugly better”
• “i meant ugly betty, you still suck”
•”this is the saddest protest …. for ugly betty!!”

Please still pretend you love me.

P.S. I admit, this is better than the time they showed cleft palates for an hour instead of Ugly Betty. It’s easier to see a ferris wheel and hairsprayed anchors rather than poor children with facial deformities and surgeries, particularly when expecting spunky, colorful executive assistant at a fashion magazine.

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I realize I was an economics major, but it’s still annoying to see your consumer surplus taken away. Though, technically, it’s not my consumer surplus anymore since the price now outstrips my willingness-to-pay.

I had the Watchmen comicbook in my Amazon cart – it was maybe ten, twelve dollars. It has been recommended to me for a while and hey, the movie’s coming out. Damn movie coming out … I went to add in some other plane-ride type reading and the price of Watchmen had more than doubled. Argh. That’s what I get.

The thing is, I might rather pay MSRP or SRP or whatever we’re calling the price printed on the back of books at some smaller comicbook store in Old Town Alexandria, say, than pay twenty-two and change to Amazon. It’s not like anyone really thinks homo economicus exists. Well, expecting perhaps a few of my more irritating friends who obviously went through schooling but perhaps came out educated only in being a disagreeable douche who likes to argue for argument’s sake.

There are other sakes to work for, people! Like getting me this stupid book.

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Look-A-Like

Al Gore III does look like a portly Alan Tudyk.

And I’m not the only one who thinks so.

(Obviously I love Alan Tudyk. And kind of had no idea Al Gore III existed until this morning when I was reminded that not only was Al Gore a “Jr.”, he had a son. Thought I’d check.)

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And after it’s all over, I find my remaining thought is “When is that last time I saw a scrunchie in use in real life?”

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